Teeth, Truths & Transitions 🐯

I stood on the podium and watched my family cry happy tears in utter confusion.

“You’ve come so far” — they said.

Yes. It’s been a long journey. A decade since I graduated high school to be exact.

It’s amazing how deeply you get into living a life that isn’t yours by saying a few easy yes’s.

“Today you become a respected member of society.”

What the f — are they respecting me for?

I still have no idea how to do taxes, I don’t understand the point of any political parties or what’s going on in the Middle East.

For 10 years I did nothing but memorized how ATP is made, how oxygen is exchanged in the alveoli and how basophils basically like to overreact to everything.

And now all of a sudden, I was supposed to know where to live, how many kids to have and what to do for the rest of my life.

That. Makes. No. Sense.

I’ve come so far and I’ve never been so lost.

It really wasn’t dentistry in particular that drove me crazy. I actually enjoyed dentistry.

I enjoyed getting to know my patients, working delicately with their trust in my hands. I enjoyed reassuring the biggest guy in the room it’s just a small pinch, it will go away before you can count to 60. I enjoyed the whirring sound of the drill as my foot stepped on the pedal and the bur begin spinning in high speed. I enjoyed running it across the groove of their tooth to open it up and excavate for the gunky decay that was once sounder than bone. I enjoyed saying commands to my assistant — suction, gauze, air — pretending like I was in an operating room.

I enjoyed all of it.

But there were still so many questions that demanded answers.

Is this all life is? Doing the same thing every day, even if it’s not so bad, until my body decides when it’s time to stop? What would be left of me then?

Is the work life? Or is life the few hours I have left when the sun is down and the fleeting weekends when the job is off?

Is the point to make as much money as possible?

Or is it children? Is life meant to be lived to pass on to smaller Ava’s? Pass on what, exactly? My money? My ideologies? My utter confusion?

It didn’t matter the questions I had. I realized I had extremely narrow ways of answering them.

Like suffocating in a box and poking holes to gasp for air. No matter how many holes I poked, not enough would set me free.

And that, not the job itself, drove me crazy.

It was the idea that I’d know exactly what the rest of my life looked like.

That I would never have what it takes to venture beyond the walls I shut myself in.

That I would eventually find ways to forget these questions.

Or worse — replace them with answers.

So I ran away.

The last 2 years have been more meaningful to me than anything I’ve done in 28 years combined. I can’t say I’ve found the answers, but the act of searching has made every second of life more intense, exciting and miraculous.

I know this life isn’t for everyone. But neither is a traditional life.

We have never lived in a better time to quench our thirst for adventures.

Every resource is available at your finger tips. The only thing that’s missing is your courage to reach for it.

I dare you to find it.

I dare you to walk outside the lines you’ve carefully drawn.

I dare you to blindly believe it will all work out because you are capable.

I dare you to continue walking when you feel lost rather than retreating to comfort.

I dare you to say no while others say yes to predictability, certainty and the well-lit path.

I dare you to carve your own path and win your own race.

Lastly, I dare you to clap here 50 times because you can.

Go get ‘em, tiger 🐯

Ciao.