I'm Quitting X

Two days ago I woke up and didn’t recognize my body. My bones were cracking and popping. I could feel tension all over my neck and back.

This hasn’t happened since I quit my job as a dentist. I must have been very tense lately.

After a few stretches, I went inside for my sitting meditation. I tried to follow the pain. By the time I got up to start journaling, it began spilling out.

I’m in the process of buying a place and it’s freaking me out. Neither Ray nor I have a job. But it’s not just that. It’s a glooming realization I’ve been trying to ignore for a while:

I don’t really enjoy creating on X.

I’ve stuck with it for 1.5 years. I’ve met some great people. It feels like a normal part of my routine. But creatively, I feel stifled.

And when I asked myself why? what am I more excited about? I kept coming back to Instagram.

I’ve tried to create on Instagram twice and I’ve given up both times. Yet somehow, it’s not done with me. Somehow, through both failures, that’s still where my excitement hides.

It feels like creating on X is like trying to paint with a pencil. And on IG, there are water colors and oil pastels and clay and dirt and I want to get my hands dirty.

It doesn’t make sense for a writer to create on IG. It also doesn’t make sense for me to abandon a platform I’ve tried to build for 1.5 years to jump on something I’ve failed twice at.

It could just be a symptom of looking for greener grass elsewhere. Or I have been holding myself back because of the 1.5 years I’ve invested on X (sunk cost fallacy).

Who could ever know for sure? There is no right path to choose. Only one you want to walk down.

I’m so glad you get to witness me winging it.

This year, I’ve made a commitment to following my excitement wherever it goes. And this is my way of honoring that.

Does it mean I’m going to close off my X account completely? No. At least not now.

I guess I’m more “quiet quitting”. I will still cross post content I write or create elsewhere on there. I still want to talk to my friends.

Content Update:

End of month updates 👇

I’m freakin’ pumped about this earning. It doesn’t look like much but it’s my first paycheck working for myself.

Three different stories, one same loneliness

To be in the present moment is an uphill battle

What I wish I knew about meditation 2 years ago

Please don’t sacrifice your happiness for the sake of family

Be honest— is your relationship with money holding you back?

Picture of the week:

Quote of the week:

—A