I Fell In Love

This week was a big milestone.

I went on a trip, did some molly with my friends and something unlocked inside me.

I have never taken MDMA before, and I don’t plan to do it again for a loooong time. But something dislodged inside me that I didn’t know existed.

When I moved to the states at 12, I lost all of my friends. I barely knew English so I never talked to anyone. I had lunch in empty corners, with my English teacher and sometimes in bathroom stalls.

Painful teenage years went on like that until I began dating and gained some confidence.

But even then, I never made any friends who had other interests than drinking.

I used to watch people camping, going on trips and doing stupid things with their friends and feel a knot in my stomach.

It’s too late now. That could never be me.

But all of it was behind me when I uprooted my life and moved to the island. I found purpose, I found a path I loved, I found nature and spirituality.

I was happy.

Then I did some molly with my friends on a rooftop under a sky full of stars.

And I realized… something has been keeping me from being happier.

There is a reason I am telling you all of this.

I’ve learned that while we can be perfectly happy by ourselves, we can be a lot happier around people who make space for us and understand us.

I have been thinking for a long time:

What is the most impactful way I could lead my life?

And it keeps coming back to building a community (no, I don’t mean the one online where I invite you to cohorts and buy my courses).

I mean a self-sustaining community off of our own land.

Where we live together but with adequate space apart.

Where we work online (if we want to), grow our own foods, homestead, share our meals and look out for one another.

Where we create things with our minds and hands.

Three years ago, this idea sounded foolish and faraway.

After being at the monastery, and falling in love with the friend group I’ve made on this small island, I realize this is the only logical thing for me to do.

I don’t exactly know how it will all look (I never do).

I just know that I want it to be a refuge for anyone who is tired of the rat race, tired of feeling not enough, and just need a break.

It is free for all to come (if availability permits). All you have to do is get your hands dirty and work with us on the land.

I guess I’m telling you all this because you, my reader, my friend— you understand me more than anyone else (except Ray).

And we must have so much in common.

So maybe this will spark an idea inside you to start your own community.

Or maybe this will give you relief knowing that life doesn’t always have to be that way.

Or maybe together, we can build hundreds of these communities all over the world.

Who knows? Let’s start with one and see where that goes 🙂 

Content of the Week:

How My Old Blanket Teaches Me to Age Gracefully 

A Letter to My Body (for those who haven’t connected with their body lately)

Considering that I’ve been sick, dealing with mold and doing drugs this week, wouldn’t you say putting out 2 articles this week is quite the achievement? 😏

Photo of the Week:

Quote of the Week:

-A